In case somebody out there hasn’t heard yet, I’m about to have a baby this month. My first baby, which means I’ve officially entered the oh-shoot-this-is-really-happening phase of pregnancy. I’ve taken many small steps throughout the summer to prepare for this huge time bomb that’s about to go off. We’ve organized and cleared many things out of our house. Put together new furniture for our nursery. Had our delightful garden party baby shower (which was awesome). And have made progress on our long to-do list to prep for this new arrival. But despite all of that, I still feel unprepared. Which is why I’m exploring a topic I desperately need today: ways to cope with change.
This Isn’t My First Rodeo with Big Changes, But . . .
Let’s be honest: having a baby is about the biggest, scariest life change that could possibly exist. I’ve spent the last two years attempting to reduce my panic surrounding having kids, but here we are, less than a month away and freaking out over here.
So today I thought I’d take a deep breath and dive into ways to cope with change. Not just little changes, but the big, lasting changes that everyone struggles with. This isn’t going to be a fluffy list of happy advice. I wanted to learn the research-backed strategies that professionals recommend to navigate change successfully. So here are eight proven strategies that I uncovered to cope with change:
Strategy #1: Reframe Your Perspective
This a strategy I’ve used many times in my life. When things get scary and unpredictable, it’s easy to let our distressed brains run wild with negativity. Things are changing! This is bad! We’re losing everything and life is going to be terrible forever! In these moments of spiraling, I’m finding it’s the perfect time to pause and reframe harmful negative thinking. Your brain is your most powerful tool against despair. So instead of thinking about the losses, think about the new, positive things coming into your life. Instead of wallowing in the stress, acknowledge that you care deeply about what’s happening and your body is preparing itself to conquer and do a good job. More importantly, what big changes have you overcome in the past? If you need help from a professional to do this positive reframing, so be it. Therapy works.
Strategy #2: Lean on the Familiar
Human beings thrive on routine, and this also happens to be one of the ways to cope with change. When big things are changing and you’re feeling overwhelmed, now is the time to comfort yourself with small familiar things, especially if you’re a creature of habit. Simple comforts like your favorite breakfast and snacks, familiar perfumes and candles, a specific errand you run daily, or your favorite scheduled podcast can work wonders in calming your body when big things are feeling different. In moments where I’m feeling like all the changes are just too much, it’s the perfect time to listen to music I love, watch my favorite YouTube channels, and organize my house exactly the way I like it. It’s all about the little things.
Strategy #3: Get Some Exercise
Ugh, why does this one always weasel its way onto every list of good life choices? I’m sure someone out there loves to hit the gym and go on runs around town. But for the rest of us who aren’t serial killers waiting to happen, exercise is hard. I had a hard time working out even before gaining all this baby weight, but the fact remains that exercise is one of the most robust ways to cope with change and reduce stress. It also improves your overall health, sleep, mood, and energy levels too. So there’s that I guess.
Strategy #4: Take Time to Reflect
I’ve heard this before, but two of the most powerful ways to cope with change are meditation and journaling. Simply stated, quiet activities that allow you to unplug and ground yourself also allow you to calm a troubled mind and combat stress. Writing about what you’re going through is an awesome outlet that I’ve used for years to decompress at the end of my day. And meditation is another way to shut out the world for even a few minutes and reconnect with your body. Extra points for meditating while touching grass because nature is another natural stress-reliever when life gets messy.
Strategy #5: Laugh
I never would have guessed how much data exists to back this one up. Apparently laughter is a major aphrodisiac for the human body because it increases endorphins and dopamine while lowering cortisol, the stress hormone. So one of the best ways to deal with change and stressful situations is to seek out shows, books, and memes that make you laugh. Find the humor in little everyday mishaps. And of course hang out with positive, cool people who make you laugh and can turn any hard thing into a comical anecdote. Which brings me to my next point . . .
Strategy #6: Connect with Other Humans
When we feel like life is unraveling, most of us have a natural inclination to stay home a lot and retreat into our numbing behaviors like binge eating and using our devices for hours every day. But counterintuitively, one of the best ways to cope with change is to put our phones down, go out, and be with other human beings. This one is a HUGE struggle for me personally when I’m feeling down and overwhelmed, but the friends I’ve made in the past few months have helped me make it through the hard days and enjoy the good days even more. People can be pretty great, and believe it or not, having deep connections with other human beings is one of the biggest predictors of how long you’ll live a healthy life. I’m just saying.
Strategy #7: Make Time to Cry
Admittedly, I haven’t had much choice over the amount of crying I’ve been doing lately. But hey, crying is one of the proven ways to cope with change because it balances hormones in the human body AND is both a stress and pain reliever. Does it make your eyes sting? Yes. Does it make you look puffy and terrible? Also yes. But it can’t be denied that crying is just necessary now and then, sometimes even more so than talking out your anxieties. I’m not a fan of this strategy, but it does work wonders.
Strategy #8: Plan Where You Can
This one may seem obvious, but one of the ways to cope with change is to focus on what you can control and let the rest go. I tell you what, there is nothing like pregnancy to completely strip you of the ability to control ANYTHING in life. But I’ve slowly discovered the things that I can control. Getting the food and vitamins that I need, designing a nursery I love, making small changes to improve my comfort and quality of sleep, educating myself on pregnancy and postpartum, and building relationships with other moms are just some of the ways I’ve been taking back control and planning where I can. Am I still just along for the ride as this baby calls all the shots? Unfortunately, yes. But I’m learning to accept the stuff I can’t change and embrace the things that I can. And honesty, that’s probably the biggest thing I needed to learn to become a parent in the first place.
Bottom Line? Even Hard Changes Can Be Good
I’m saying this to myself on repeat lately, but I think deep in my gut that I know things are going to work out. I happen to have a 100% track record for surviving hard things and watching life get better along the way. I’m hopeful that this pregnancy is just another one of those speed bumps along the road of life that I’ll look back on and feel proud for learning how to swim in unfamiliar waters. Here’s hoping. ❧
